Friday, December 28, 2007

What's up?

Have you ever really wanted to write… but just did not seem to have the words to say what you want? That’s how I feel right now. I have so much to say, so much to share, but there is something inside of me keeping me quite!

With my new job I have not been able to blog like I would like to. I have fallen so far behind with reading friend’s blogs, bills, learning, and life in general. I hope when I am out of training my life can get back to something of what I had before.

I am sure there are those out there that are glad I have stepped back, but then they are not reading this. Not that there really is any readers for my rambling anyway…

Well here is what has been going on in most devistaing and life changing order…

1. Seth’s job downsized him, he was on unemployment, he got a new job, company closed… all this has left me in quite a financial bind… hopefully he has another job lined up (maybe 2!).

2. My sister lost her children to CPS. Where this does not directly impact my daily life, it is there, in the back of my head at every moment…

3. One of the young people died. They have ruled it suicide… he hung himself. I pray for him. It is hard to go into work and he is missing. He was one of my 2 favorite employees. He did as I asked and was really a wonderful kid. (Not that my other associates are not, he just stood out in a very wonderful way.)

4. I feel myself being distracted from the things that I love… including God. Not that I was very good at serving him, but now it seems I do not have time to learn and study as I would like to. This would be farther up the list, but as all things in religion it seems it is not really something we think about as much as we should.

5. The financial stuff has put a terrible strain on my and Seth’s relationship. So many times I have just wanted to walk away from it all. The credit cards, auto loan, cell phones, and him. Not that I would ever do such a thing, (I could not walk away from any of it.) I just feel so trapped right now by all of it. I know I love him and I have a responsibility to it ALL. But again… there it is.

There is more on my mind, but this is neither the time nor the place to put it out there. Please everyone I want you to know I am not avoiding anyone, I just have not been at a computer with the desire to write for a bit. If you have my phone number call me. If you have my email address, send me an email. There are many I wish to hear from, but again I am sure those I wish to hear from/see will not be reading this…

Thursday, December 27, 2007

One Month

Has it really been one entire month since I posted!!! Well I will have to write something insitful soon.